If you are unhappy with the way you look, feel, or are seen by other people, there is a good chance you have encountered what I’m about to share with you.
Nobody likes ice cream more than me!!!
I love it so much that I used to eat it every day.
And a lot of it.
I loved it so much that I didn’t know or care what other effects it was having on me.
But like all addicts, the more you use, the more you want. I was never satisfied. I was so sad and anxiety-riddled, and ice cream made me happy.
The second I felt overwhelmed or stressed out, I reached for what I would describe as my happy place.
Whether it was ice cream, cheesesteaks, pizza, cookies, you name it, and I ate it. Like alcohol or drugs, it gave me instant relief and comfort even though it was causing much larger problems physically and mentally.
What was the harm? At least it wasn’t alcohol or drugs. But could it be equally as addictive and equally as harmful?!?!
It was just food, and all our mirrors in our house were chest up, and I didn’t even notice what it was doing to my body.
Until I went on vacation.
My beautiful wife and I decided to go on a much-needed trip. I was finally going to relax and unwind. At this point, I wasn’t feeling so great and was very tired.
Someone took a picture of us. And then I saw in real life what eating all that unhealthy food had done to me. I was fat. Not just a little “Dad Bod” fat but obese like what you thought other people were but not you.
As a former marine, this was unacceptable. What had I done? How can my wife still find me attractive? What about the kids? I can barely throw a ball with them.
They love me no matter what, but clearly, I did not love myself.
I finally realized that I was using the kitchen as my psychiatrist and using food to cope with all of my emotions, feelings and anxiety.
The next part of my journey was filled with a lot of mistakes
After failing with fad diets like paleo and keto and buying every supplement and fat burner that promised to make me look like a Greek god, filling my basement with new exercise equipment that was never properly used.
It finally dawned on me that what I was trying wasn’t working
Idid all the research on diets, nutrition, and fitness programs, but the one subject that made the most difference was human psychology.
After 18 months I dropped the 120 pounds that I had put on, and I felt like a real man again.
After struggling for so long I finally found the missing piece that was holding me back
I didn’t have the proper mindset.
Once I put it all together, it created a longing to help other people I never felt before. Every time I would see an overweight person, I couldn’t help but feel empathetic towards their struggles.
It took all of my self control not to run up to them and tell them that I can help.
Now I wanted to help others on their journey. I wanted to teach what I had learned along the way and how to create a lifestyle that allows you to keep the weight off and still have ice cream, just not a whole pint every day of your life.
You can figure out the correct nutrition plan and fitness routine on your own with enough trial and error, but if you don’t have the correct mindset training to put your actions in place and sustain them.
You will always fail.
You can’t starve yourself, or cut out major food groups, or follow what a celebrity does that employs trainers and chefs to make sure they look good.
You see, the problem with these types of diets is that they are not sustainable, and you don’t have the correct expectations set, and when you don’t see the results that you feel you should, you start to become discouraged.
Any diet that asks you to avoid a major food group like fats, carbs, or meat will not be sustainable for the long term, and you will eventually fall back into old habits and gain the weight back.
Does this make sense?
The fitness world is a multi billion dollar industry that preys on people that are overwhelmed, insecure and don’t know where else to turn.
They rely of you not knowing what to do next to use their marketing schemes to get you to buy the next diet fad, supplement, fat burner or piece of equipment.
In reality, all you need is a different outlook and a little bit of training to utilize it.
You need to know how to combine nutrition, fitness, and mindset into one package so that you don’t just lose 10, 20, 50 pounds, but you actually change your lifestyle habits for the long term.
This is why mindset is so important to achieving your weight loss goals.
Many people are unaware that the thoughts that we put in our mind are more important than the food we put in our mouths. How we feel about ourselves affects the choices we make about what, why, when, how & where we eat.
It’s our inner narrative that influences success or failure in our weight management endeavors.
Below are some adverse side effects that negative mindset can cause.
First thing’s first, what does the word ‘diet’ mean to you?
This is an important concept … In my weight management sessions with clients, I always focus on healthy eating and trying to stay away from the idea of diets.
Often the word “diet” brings to mind negative concepts: the need for excessive discipline along with denial and deprivation.
Plus, there’s the fact that diets often fail – statistics show that around 90% of people put the weight back on again, often immediately.
It’s hard to deprive yourself of your favourite foods, and way too often people give up within a very short time and gain back all the weight – often even more! Then, in a vicious cycle, they try again only to have the same thing happen again.
This can lead to what is known as “yo-yo dieting” – An on/off syndrome of initially well-intentioned weight loss efforts repeatedly sabotaged which actually leads to weight gain!
So many of my clients tell me, “if I were the weight & shape now than I was when I started to diet, I would never have started in the first place!”.
When diets don’t work, they impact more than just the scales! Gaining and losing weight affects us emotionally. More often than not, there is an erosion of self-belief, self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-trust, and so on.
However, when people constantly feel negative thoughts about themselves and their bodies, they unwittingly program themselves to fail.
The majority of my clients are similar in that they are successful in so many aspects of their lives – job/career, family, relationships, etc. – however, the one area they cannot control is their weight.
Very often, the reason for this is neglect of the self: They invest a great deal of thought and effort in creating stability for themselves & others in their lives, but they neglect to give themselves the time & space to acknowledge and positively act upon their own intrinsic needs.
They treat and speak to themselves differently from how they relate to anyone else in their lives – more about that later.
The psycho-biological effects of unhealthy eating
In these challenging times, many people are making poor food choices and reaching for comfort food. However, although the short-term gain may be satisfaction, the initial comfort feelings can be quickly followed by guilt, shame, regret, disappointment & anger.
Low energy foodstuffs like biscuits, cakes, crisps, chocolate, etc., move slowly through the gut, and the psycho-biological effect is that for the length of time it takes for that food to be digested, negative feelings remain in the mind. They lower our mood, and this harsh & negative self-talk is not helpful.
Furthermore, the amount of energy that the body uses to digest the slow-moving stodgy food makes us feel mentally & physically tired.
I was hoping you could do this one simple task to see that what I’m talking about is easily done for anyone.
Most people try to lose weight with the worst state of mind possible: wanting to fix themselves.
They jump into diets and exercise plans out of self deprecation, all the while pinching their trouble spots, calling themselves “fat” and feeling worthless or like a failure.
They get obsessed with quick fixes and lose sight of sustainability and even their overall health.
This type of negative thinking will destroy your chances of actually seeing the results you want, rather than focusing on the good that can come from weight loss, such as better health, longer life, more confidence, and enjoyment out of daily activities.
These folks focus on negative thoughts. Ultimately a negative mindset leads to failure.
Fortunately, the mind is a flexible thing. Follow this simple task for one week to change your mindset and make your weight loss approach healthier, happier, and way more effective.
I want you to identify your trouble thoughts.
Learn to recognize the thoughts or actions that get you into trouble and work to stop and change them.
Maybe it’s your internal dialogue when you look in the mirror. Or cravings when you get stressed.
So how can we start to re-programme ourselves?
Below is a short, but powerful exercise!
Catch the Thought:
Write down 3 situations in which you could talk to yourself more positively
Challenge the Thought
For one of the situations, list some of the negative things you say about yourself
Change the Talk
Now think about replacing the negative words with more positive statements about yourself and the situation
Now repeat for the other 2 situations.
INSIGHT! When you change the way you feel about things, the things around you change!
It might sound silly but that simple action will have powerful results. It will break your chain of thought and allow yourself the opportunity to introduce a new, healthier one.
If you look in the mirror and your first thought is a negative one, immedialtely tell yourself to “stop” and introduce a positive thought.